Never regret something that once made you smile.

"Love and relationships are never like the movies no matter how much we want them to be. But when something beautiful ends, for whatever reason, it's most important not to be disappointed that it's over, but glad that it happened at all."

Easier said then done huh?

When We Say - AJ Rafael

Ryan Leslie - How It Was Supposed To Be

Something cute I found

Yesterday was a long day.
I was miserable. I couldn't stop coughing, my fever kept coming and going, I had a headache felt nauseous all day. I can't say that this weather is helping much either. I feel like my body is slowly giving out on me. I've been pushing it really hard these past couple of days, and lately I don't have much of an appetite. It probably hates me right now, I would hate me too.

I mustered up the courage to do something that I didn't know I had it in me to do. I don't know if it was the right thing to do, I don't know if it made matters better or worse. I thought it'd make me feel better, but I don't know. I just have to convince myself that it did right? I want to so badly to just feel indifferent. Maybe one day I will. In some ways, I think I feel worse, but at the same time I feel liberated? I don't know, I don't know anything anymore. Can't say that I saw this one coming. I just have to learn to appreciate what I do have and not think about what I don't have.

On a lighter note, exciting things lurk in the near future! invASIAN and Installs/Formals are coming up! Get excited. Oh and I know who I want to take my wedding pictures. lol Their photographs are so breathtaking. I love it. Check out their website! http://www.table4weddings.com/blog/

I'm feelin' this song.
Fall For Your Type - Drake

run.

If you see any sign of doubt or hesitation, that's your sign to run. If he doesn't come running after you, you keep on running.

I've realized that I really enjoy reading other people's blog (not to sound creepy or anything). But it's nice to see what others are thinking about and how they interpret their lives. I wish I had more thought provoking and interesting things to blog about, I know all I do on here is bitch about my mediocre life, hoping that it would somehow change. like now. I admit it, I use this blog to indirectly say things to people that I don't have the heart nor courage to say to their face, I used this blog to vent and rant about how my life sucks but really, it's not as bad and dramatic as I may make it seem, I use this blog to creep on other people when I'm bored, lol you get the point. I just wish that people got the same enjoyment from reading my blog that I get from reading theirs. lol but seriously, who am I kidding? There's just something about blogging that is very comforting to me, I'm not sure why or how but it just is. Like just knowing that there are people, even if it's just one person, who cares enough about you to take time out to visit your blog and read what you have to say, is a nice feeling. Does that make any sense at all?

Anyway, I don't know what the point of this post was about but that's the great thing about it, it doesn't matter because no one cares. Right?! Ok, I don't make very much sense right now because I just took another shot of cough syrup and I can feel it kickin' in. I haven't been feelin' too hot lately, it sucks because right when I'm done being emo, my immune system is giving up on me! Ahhhh! Wahhhh! Oh and I've been having some crazy dreams lately probably because I'm able to knock out and sleep like a fat baby again. But you know I can never remember them or I'd share with you and too bad I wake up feeling like dookie in the mornings lately because of whatever disease I may be getting. Errrr ok, this blog post has lost its composure, I'm sorrys!

TTFN <3

I could really use a wish right now

Stupid Girl

I slept like a baby last night..for the first time in a long time. I guess the reason why I haven't been able to sleep lately isn't a problem anymore. Letting go resulted in me finally realizing that this is not worth it. I believe that everything happens for a reason, therefore things are like this for a reason. Right? Right.

I'm tired of playing the victim, I'm tired of bitching and crying about why things aren't the way I want them to be. I've lost myself along with my dignity throughout all of this. Sometimes I feel like everything is falling apart and I can't do anything about it, but truth is, I'm the only one who can do anything. I was so stupid enough to think that I could just wait around for others to fix it. I was so stupid enough to think that things would actually work out. I was so stupid enough to think that I was worth it to you. I was so stupid to think that this could really be something great. I guess I had a momentarily lapse of judgment.

I might not be able to control my feelings, but with whatever ounce of dignity I have left, I will fight them.

If We Ever Meet Again- Timbaland ft. Katy Perry

even if the sky is falling down

It's only 7:3oam in Denver and I'm up watching the news with KimLe. wtfff! lol and Nina is still drunk from last nighhhht. Last night was so much fun/random/emotional/funny! Everything from delicious sushi & sake to orgasmic fried green tea ice cream to dirty little secrets to super tall black guys to underwear party to blackmailing each other to ordering pizza at 3 in the morning. It was definitely a night to remember.

We have lots planned today! We plan on checking out this bubble tea place we found not too far from out hotel and get this....THEY ALSO HAVE PEDICURES ON THEIR MENU!!! LOLL now how cool is that?! it's like a half bubble tea cafe and half nail salon. haha I know right?! GENIUS!! We are also checking out the law school up here for Nina! The tour is at 11, so we were supposed to wake up at 9 but we all woke up at 7 because my phone went off. oops! but also because it's superr bright in here! :/ but KimLe just fixed that problem by closing the blinds! hooray! I also really want a pair of Toms so hopefully I will be able to find a cute pair today.

I hate how I get so vulnerable when I'm intoxicated. I always say and do things I regret in the morning. I really should try to keep my feelings to myself. I wish I was stronger and I wish I was handling this better then I have been. But after last night, I am determined to get over this. It just is what it is and there's nothing I can say or to do change it. Which really sucks, I admit but I figure there's no point in beating myself up about this when I have no control over the situation. So let's march forward and move on to bigger and better things and stop looking back.

I am determined to enjoy the rest of this trip in this beautiful city and I'm excited to see what kind of trouble we can get ourselves into tonight!

(real talk)

Is it so wrong of me to believe that I don't deserve to come second to anyone.

:-(

too bad i always seem to.....

i hope u know that i won't wait around. i don't deserve this. mlia.

i just want to be somebody's #1. that's allllllllllllllll but apparently that's too much2 ask.

forgive & forget.

off to Denver, CO with some of my favorite peoples.

cheers to spontaneity!

ask me if i hate you again.

this is just what i need.
i need to get outta here.

you're just a figment of my imagination.

love this song & cover.

I'm doing this to myself

It's 6:30 in the morning and I'm laying in bed with nothing but a big t-shirt and my favorite pair of panties on. Right next to me is a lit candle and all I can hear is the ticking of my clock and my thoughts. I feel so at peace. I haven't felt like this in a long time. I've been having trouble sleeping lately and it's because my mind is constantly racing..about things that are out of my control, about things that I should just let go, but can't seem to. Sometimes, I just want to hit the "pause" button on my life so I can step back to reevaluate everything. Sometimes, I want to just rewind and do things differently. Sometimes, I wish I had known better. I wish the line was more clear. I wish things didn't get this far. I wish I didn't feel this way. I've learned that I have such a hard time letting go, especially things that I know I should let go of, but I always somehow let my emotions get the best of me. Which I know will hurt me even more in the end. I'm doing this to myself..but I don't know how to stop.

This past semester has definitely been an emotional roller coaster ride, one right after another it seems like. There's no room to breathe. I've learned, felt, and dealt with things I would have never imagined going through. I've lost some really important people to me but at the same time I've met some pretty amazing people along the way. I wouldn't trade the world for my precious memories, good and bad, that I've made here in Oklahoma. I know I'm going to dread going back to Dallas, because my life is here in Norman, but I know my time here is running up and it breaks my heart to even say that. My family is so dysfunctional at home and I know they need me. I know I can't hide up here in Norman forever. I have no idea what the future has planned for me..but I can say that I'm genuinely scared. As much as I want to believe that everything is going to be okay and that everything will fall into place..but honestly I just don't know anymore. Everything happens for a reason right? But will they happen in time?

I feel like I have so much unresolved business here. I hope that when I do have to move back home, that I'll have the strength and courage to resolve them and have some kind of closure. I sound like I'm moving half away around the world when I only live 3 hours away. But still, it just won't be the same. I'm rambling now and the sun is coming up. I can hear the birds chirping and my eyes are getting heavy. I guess it's time to try to go to bed.

Goodmorning.

I have an inner-artist in me? loll

Lookie at what I made for Yvonne! hehe

<3

I'll be fine