Reunited at last. a little special birdie convinced me to blog so here I am; I'm back... with more problems then everr.
Things have been absolutely crazy lately, and I wish I could hit the pause button PLEASE. For once, I felt like I had no control over anything in my life. Everything was happening so fast, and I had no idea what I was doing. Stupid stupid me. I let things get out of control; people's feelings are getting hurt; I was vulnerable and rash and I can't help but think that this is all my fault. Wait, scratch that, I don't think it was my fault, I know it's my fault. But what has happened, has happened and I can't do a goddamn thing to change it. The only thing left to do is to move forward.
But where is forward? I ask. Who freaking knows?! I can't even tell right from wrong. Lately, I feel as if my judgment has been clouded..by what? I don't know. Life works in funny ways, and when unexpected things are thrown at me, I freaking freak out. I panicked. But I did what I felt like was the right thing to do. I put myself first. I know I'm selfish. I did what I had to, to put myself out the misery that I was in.
Letting go is never easy. It's hard and it sucks. But I've come to realize that sometimes, it's what is best. Finding closure is something I need in order to let go and move on, but I'm figuring out that it can be kind of tricky sometimes. I've already made up my mind and I must be strong and stand by my decision. I'm blessed to have so many wonderful people around me who support me and believe in me. They are the ones who keep me sane when I feel like going jackshit crazyy on everyone. No joke!
heavy heart.
Rev Run always has good advice: "Single ladies: Sometimes you have to stand alone just to prove you can still stand! true story"
Jammin' to: Who I am - Nick JOnas
<3
