life happens

Today I had a sudden urge to be active! (uhh, and because I can't fit half of the clothes I own anymore) >:| ba humbug. So I got off my big lazy bum and off to the gym I went. I feel like I had a decent workout, but I know I could have done better. I worked out my legs pretty hard, I know I won't be able to walk up and down stairs tomorrow lol but I got to get rid of these thunder thighs somehow! I love the feeling to being sore! It's like a good kind of pain? I'll work out even harder next time.

Tonight I was asked to help plan kdphi's and lambda's installs/formals again this semester. (because I was in charge last semester and it was pretty amazing) haha jk. But I'm definitely excited to help again this year! It'll keep me busy and that's just exactly what I need right now. Over these past years, I've realized that I really enjoy planning events and parties. It's so rewarding when game day comes along and everything is beautifully executed; when you're able to sit back during the event and just watch everyone enjoying themselves and having a good time and knowing that you contributed to that, is a sweet feeling. Not a lot of people know this, but my dream job one day is to become a wedding planner. I have this strange obsession with weddings and everything that has to do with weddings. Is that scary? Would I scare boys away? lol The whole concept of uniting two people who are in love fascinates me; a little girl's dream come true; the happiest day of a man's/woman's life. I think I'd be damn good at it too! But who am I kidding right? I can't imagine having a conversation with my parents, telling them that I want to drop nursing and pursue party planning. They'd disown me and tell me that I've dishonored our family. hah jk, but seriously, it'd get ugly. I'd rather not think about what crazy and irrational things they'd say. Sometimes I wish I was white, with hippie parents. Then, they'd encourage me to do what I love right? So that I don't grow up bitter resenting myself and my life. Oh well, maybe someday. A girl can dream right?

Speaking of dreams, I've had some super weird ones lately. Too bad I can't remember then, or else I'd share.

Other then that, my life isn't very exciting. Nothing new, nothing to look forward to. Sometimes I feel like I've hit a plateau and I'm longing for something new and exciting, but at the same time I'm scared. Its hard to wear my heart on my sleeve because nowadays it seems like everything is "complicated." Nothing seems to ever be simple anymore. It's never just black or white anymore, but hundreds shades of gray. It's frustrating but life happens. It's never fair is it? The past seems to haunt us and no one is ever able to let go..perhaps because they gave them too much to hold on to. I've learned that holding onto mere memories of what used to be and what was, ended up hurting me even more in the long run.

I'm rambling now. It's 5am, wayyyy past my bed time :(

Some cool songs Pandora played tonight:
Someday by John Legend
The Rain Don't Stop by Hope
Complicated by Robin Thicke
Forget Me Not by Lucie Silvas
Officially Missing You by Tamia

Goodnight and sweetest dreams.